Jon Shoemaker

My internet sabbatical is now over. Since we last spoke, I have moved into my own apartment with two roommates. And, until today, we have been without internet. You must understand what a major looser I am so you can grasp what I just said: I went two months without internet. Not completely without, but I couldn’t just use it when I wanted.

Like I said, I have two roommates, Aaron and Jason. Both are homosexual. Well, not openly. But I am pretty sure. I assume many of you didn’t believe me when I said such a thing. That is what makes being gay such a terrible thing in this country - you can’t accept such a blunt statement as truth because you are creeped out. Of course, it wasn’t true and you were right to assume I was lying. But I digress.

We live in a cozy two bedroom apartment in Glendora. I know what you locals are wondering, “north or south of Route 66?” Just south actually. We are not so arrogant to dare go further north than we are and risk running into the Mormons. Our apartment is nothing special, and that is just fine with us. There is a sink in the living room. Nothing else remarkable.