Personal
Transmitted in Sap Where Available
I used to drive a Cadillac. Grandpa died, and I took his Cadillac. It was great. A 1990 Cadillac Fleetwood pimped out with running-boards, power everything, a car phone, even had a gold-package on it. See, Grandpa worked for Cadillac, so naturally he deserved the best. When he died and I was sixteen, it was clearly recognized that I then deserved the best. Well, turns out that Cadillac was more man then I could handle. It took 91-Octane gasoline and got a stellar fourteen miles-per-gallon. I sold it to some Vaquero and took my fathers 1999 GMC Sonoma. Again, like Grandpa practically threw his car at me when he died, my father put his car keys in my hand when he realized I was without a car.
The past two summers I have worked at Quaker Meadow Christian Camp. While I work up there, my Sonoma would sit high up in the Sequoias with me. Giant Sequoia trees produce a little something I like to call “sap.” It is like the mating juice of the trees or something like that. Anyways, this viscous sap would cake on my truck and sit there for months. After sitting on the paint for so long, there is no hope of getting it off. Now I have two summers worth of tree juice still plastered on my car.
This afternoon I gave my truck a good wash - but it is so unsatisfying when no matter what I do, the hood and roof of the car are still covered with little spots of sap. I am thinking that my best bet is going to be having the car sanded down and repainted. But I thought I would try anyway: does anyone have a genius idea of how to remove sap from a car? And if not, does anyone know a good paint shop?
Discussion
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Get it detailed professionally, much cheaper than a new paint job and check you email, told you it would be an evite
My mother’s words of wisdom: use rubbing alcohol. It takes the sap right off, but the paint might come with it.
Molly: You called it.
Bethany: Maybe I should just take all the paint off with it anyways.
Finally the freakin’ comments are working. I have had so many comments and your spam protection was thwarting me. Now I am just too angry to comment. And believe me- I had great advice for your tree mating juice problem.
Okay now that that’s off my chest-
Use powdered sugar to scrub it off. The sugar is harder than the tree mating juice but softer than the paint so it will scrub it all off.
Then when all the ants you attract consume your flesh, I will hang your skull from my rearview mirror and play your ribs like a xylophone with your humerus bones… I guess I’m still a little angry .
rg: Just powdered sugar? No water or anything? Scrub it with a towel? You really shouldn’t let your anger consume you - then you are no better than the machine.
Take a barely damp sponge or towel and put the sugar on it. As with any new cleaning product, test a small inconspicuous area. Rub it on the sappy area then rinse.
I’ve also heard that lard works, though I’ve never used that myself. I guess your supposed to use it like a wax.